You never want to be Twitter’s main character, but on NBA Twitter, Paul Pierce is used to being the center of unwanted attention. He’s mostly innocuous, but goofy enough to set himself up to get swirlied by the internet on a regular basis. Twitter, IG, live streams, you name it and Paul Pierce is extremely embarrassing. If there was a way to reinstate the defunct Twitter jail, I’d do it for him. It would be for his own good.
To his credit, he’s unabashedly himself, but to his own detriment. The fallout from his party with strippers on IG Live during a random poker night cost the previously married ex-All-Star a plum analyst gig on ESPN. But that might have been too corporate for his laid-back style anyway. Pierce says he was already divorced by the time of the viral stripper incident, but everything that has resulted since then reeks of a mid-life crisis.
Pierce’s latest fool’s errand was innocuous enough. Pierce shot his shot at Rubi Rose on Saturday morning, commenting, “My crush” on a thirst trap photo the 26-year-old performer posted on her Twitter page. The absence of that little coach’s voice in his ear telling him, ”That’s a bad shot” helped him become a Hall of Fame wing, but failed him here.
Not surprisingly, commenters noticed and took aim at Pierce, who in turn clapped back with schoolyard insults. Eventually, Rose responded with a phone number which intrepid followers learned was to a subscription for her Laylo fan subscription account. For God’s sake, does he not have friends who will stage an intervention and tell Pierce the truth in order to get him to pull himself together?
If Twitter jail was a possibility, I have no doubt a jury of his Twitter peers would unanimously convict him of conduct unbecoming a man his age. On the court, Pierce was extremely underrated throughout his 19-year career. Kevin Garnett gets the most credit for the Celtics’ 2008 title they won’t stop letting us hear about, but Pierce was the one who rode it out through the tough times, made 10 All-Star appearances, and paved the way for Rondo, KG, and Ray Allen. Which is why it’s so tough to see him debasing himself every time I log onto social media. I wish the TVA could erase Pierce’s tweets from my timeline and from my memory. It’s hard to watch him creeping up on 50 like this.
Pierce’s thirstiness is well-documented. After ESPN, Pierce rebounded with The Ticket & The Truth on Showtime, where he dishes out half-baked analysis while being carried by the KG’s loquaciousness. During the NBA Finals, an inebriated Pierce rambled on and on about a woman he hired to be his girlfriend for a day. Pierce’s personal life is the hottest of messes.
In January, Pierce announced to the world that he was single like it was the first week of senior year. The Truth is too old to be out in these streets, much less chasing after women 20 years younger than him on the timeline. He’s not even subtle. He needs a social media timeout.
While there, he can learn a few lessons. For example, has nobody ever shown this man how DMs work? Zion Williamson might be a dweeb, but at least he tried to keep his (rhymes with) corny side under wraps.
Pierce is just firing shots indiscriminately at women he knows from the internet as a 45-year-old father of three. Why can’t he just meet a woman at TGI Fridays, or through friends, like everyone else his age? Between him and Joe Smith, NBA stars of yesteryear with too much free time are looking worse for the wear these days.
Follow DJ Dunson on X: @cerebralsportex