2023 NBA Anti-All-Stars: The dregs of the East

New York’s 2019 first-rounder may be a surprising addition, but not if you’ve been following closely. The first Knicks first-rounder since Charlie Ward to sign an extension with the ‘Bockers has retreated two steps back this season. His assist-turnover ratio is among the worst in the league and is somehow lower than former Duke teammate Cam Reddish’s. Barrett also has the team’s second-worst defensive rating as the Knicks are outscored by 10.8 points per 100 possessions with Barrett in the lineup. Now in his fourth year, an all-bloodshot red shooting chart has become synonymous with Barrett. It’s not hard not to jump to conclusions about yet another calamitous franchise cornerstone.

If you examine his career outside of the Nikola Jokic ecosystem, he belongs on the pine. One of the great testaments to Jokic’s gravity belt is that he made Will Barton look like a viable starting small forward. In his first season with Washington, Barton has reverted back to his pre-Nuggets form. He’s one of the least efficient scorers in the league, shooting at a 37 percent clip, and ranks 349th out of 350 players in FiveThirtyEight’s defensive RAPTOR.

Basketball’s Jay Cutler has always played like the rim gives him trypophobia, but his apathy for basketball has only deepened since he left Philly. In the first half of an emotional rendezvous with his former team on Jan. 27, he attempted just one shot — a miss. Then, he was benched for the majority of the fourth quarter in favor of a floor-spacing Joe Harris and velcro defender Royce O’Neale. Simmons’ defense has value, but he’s been downright unplayable in close contests. In clutch situations, he has the worst plus-minus on the roster and there was a 12-game stretch where he couldn’t make a free throw. Even after the Nets recycled Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant for 40 cents on the dollar’s worth of talent and assets, Simmons can’t buy playing time.

I’m counting him as an Eastern Conference All-Star because he’s only been a Trail Blazer for a week. The underground Reddish cult has been telling me he’s an All-Star for years. The underlying facts say otherwise. He’s the LeBron James of the Anti-All-Stars. A perennial defensive sieve who’s touted as an ice-in-his-veins shooter, he’s a tease who fires away below the league average from the field and from distance. Name a thing he does well besides selling teams on unrealized potential.

Kevin Love is a pom-pom sideline guy now. He’s a bench mascot who moves like a glacier, records a few screen assists here and there, draws charges at a prolific rate, but doesn’t move his feet well and he’s a net-negative on a team that suddenly has title aspirations. J.B. Bickerstaff recently cut him out of the rotation after he averaged around 20 minutes a game. Now, Love and the Cavs are finalizing a buyout. It’s hard to believe he’s three weeks younger than Kevin Durant.

The Pacers’ 6-foot-9 cut of marble began the season as Indiana’s starting power forward, but has since been bounced to second-team center. That’s partially due to the fact that he is knocking down fewer than 28 percent of his attempts when he’s not stepping inside as the worst mid-range shooter in the entire league. You’d hope Smith would provide some unique value as a paint protector or rim defender. Smith began the season as Indiana’s starting small forward, but has since been bounced to second-team center.

Now to the Eastern Conference guards

Lowry barely edged out his former Raptors backcourt mate Fred Van Vleet for the final spot on the Anti-All-Star Team. He’s also the reverse Flash. As one of the slowest guards in the league, he’s regressed into a low PER, high-usage offensive initiator and his conditioning has him choking on tailpipe smoke from quicker playmakers too often defensively. Maybe he’s saving his legs for the stretch run, but through February he’s been a pickup truck in a Formula 1 race.

Find me a spot on the floor he’s actually accurate from. In the absence of Cade Cunningham, Detroit has invested in Hayes and he’s helped chugged their tank along. The Pistons’ soul-sucking League “pass on this” offense is significantly better when he’s off the floor. The crazy thing is that this has been the breakout year of his impotent career.

Suggs has been replaced by a former draft bust Markelle Fultz in Orlando’s starting lineup. His hustle and basketball IQ are nice, but he crashes around on the offensive end like a newborn trying to figure out its first steps. His finishing ability is inadequate for one of the least reliable shooters from distance and he’s a drag on the offense, which is the opposite of what you want out of your primary ball handler.

A year after bursting out of nowhere, Duarte’s fallen off a cliff while the Pacers have risen from the depths of the East. In the midst of their breakout season, Duarte has dropped the ball in his second year and he’s already 25, which makes his sophomore slump even more concerning.

Levert has been shuffled in and out of the starting small forward slot all season Levert has been pressed into the starting lineup for half of the regular season due to injuries, but he’s looked even more out of his depth than usual. You’d think the added attention on Donovan Mitchell and others would free him up to do more than hit career lows in scoring efficiency on a team where he’s been forced to give up his point-forward responsibilities. He’s lost in a maze with Cleveland searching for a role and that existential battle has led him to his greatest struggle season yet.

Unseld’s rotations have been baffling since his stint began in 2021 and he gets to carry that over to the smallest stage under the dimmest lights. Get ready for him trotting out Kevin Love when they need to stop a Western Conference low-star on a heater or him inserting Ben Simmons with Chris Duarte inbounding when the East needs three points on a possession in the final minute. This is possibly the culmination of his head coaching career.